Did you spend all week thinking about Brandi Glanville’s vagina? It’s all the tabloids want to talk about these days—who’s been in it, who hasn’t been in it, who’s performed surgery on it, its Yelp reviews. Frankly, we’re sick of it.
If you’re like us and avoided gossip columns because you just want Brandi Glanville’s vagina to GO AWAY, here are the stories you might have missed.
Chris Brown’s Community Service—FAKE
The LA sheriff’s department had some harsh words for Breezy, whose community service report (for his assault conviction, not for his stealing a fan’s iPhone or throwing a chair through the window of GMA) was found to be a bit, umm, suspicious. Officials became confused when he claimed to have done a "gajillion, brezillion" hours of service on days when he was, in fact, not even in the city in question, and when he clamed to have spent those hours picking up trash in a single square block. (via L.A. Times)
Marc Jacobs is the New Creative Director for Diet Coke
He’ll make some lady-friendly packages and such. Because ladies love shirtless dudes, even gay ones. (via NY Mag)
Justin Timberlake is the New Creative Director for Bud Light
Not to be outdone, JTim will be bringing the sexy back to Bud Light. Presumably also shirtless? (via E! News)
Kim Kardashian is Pregnant and Classy
Showing her customary amount of elegance and restraint, Kim paraded her baby bump around Los Angeles in a see-through shirt. (via Daily Mail)
Ellie Kemper Got Her Own Show
She of The Office and Bridesmaids, beloved by all, is getting her own sitcom! Well, a pilot, anyway. It’s about a former fat girl who marches to the beat of her own drummer. Figuratively, not literally. Although there is a serious lack of drumlines in sitcoms nowadays. (via Vulture)
No Booty at the Grammy Awards
CBS producers asked every attendee to pleasepleaseplease refrain from wearing garments that exposed breasts, buttocks, or genitals. We can think of at least five celebs who will break this rule immediately. (via Us Weekly)