If you're part of the in crowd you already know that Orange Is The New Black is the coolest new show on non-television. The Netflix series has been gaining buzz for its unique, funny and poignant portrayal of a Brooklyn yuppie who gets sent to a New York federal women's prison. It's Must-See Un-TV. So here's your plan for the weekend: Watch all thirteen episodes with your besties and a pitcher of sangria, and follow the below instructions to get plastered while watching Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling) get used to life in lockup.
- Every time Piper moans in ecstasy at the sight or sound of normal, un-prison food
- Every time Piper says "organic" or "artisanal"
- Whenever you see nipples
- Any time a maxi pad is used for something other than its intended use
- Each time Larry Bloom (Jason Biggs) is shown with an almost- "O-face."
- Any time you're pretty sure one of the C.O.'s or management is gonna go home and jerk off to his (or her) fantasy of lesbian prison sex.
- Whenever you spot Alex (Laura Prepon) wearing her glasses like they're sunglasses (as in, on top of her head, where her glasses will do her no good at all)
- Any time all the C.O.'s have to find something hidden in the prison or risk getting fired
- Any utterance of a euphemism for "vagina"
- Every time you're sure Natasha Lyon is gonna win an Emmy